How to Be a Modern Man + Why it Matters?


A Modern Man Is

◊ Emotionally Honest

◊ Curious

◊ Confident

◊ Compassionate

◊ Connected

A Traditional Man Is

◊ Ignores or hides emotions

◊ Finds comfort within staying societal norms

◊ Feels confident when meeting cultural definitions of success

◊ Is hard on SELF and others

◊ Disconnected from needs, wants and desires

A Modern Man's Exploration

◊ What gets in the way of expressing emotions?

◊ What parts of SELF are neglected?

◊ What are your needs, wants and desires?

◊ How did caregivers, society and cultural norms contribute to perceived weakness, fear, worries or sensitivities?

◊ Why are you deserving of connection and community?


A Modern Man's Practice

◊ Label emotions and share with others

◊ Use curiosity to really get to know yourself and others

◊ Confident in ability to meet needs, wants and desires

◊ Compassionate regarding individual flaws, sensitivities and fears

◊ Use reciprocity to stay connected with YOUR people



Why Does This Matter?

Men are killing themselves - literally and symbolically because of the toxic notion of Traditional Masculinity.

Literal Death 

Men die from suicide 3.5 times more then women. In 2015, suicide was the 7th leading cause of death for me in the United States. In 2016, white men accounted for 70% of all suicides and those in middle age have the highest rate of suicide. This is an epidemic and humans collectively need to encourage individuals to lean into being a Modern Man.

Symbolic Death 

Under the regime of Traditional Masculinity, men have been taught to censor voice and keep needs unmet. Society labels men as weak if they are emotionally honest. They have been taught that they aren't deserving or necessary to be in their child's life. They have been taught to starve themselves of connection, intimacy and vulnerability. This is serious folks, we are talking about starvation! This has to change, we as humans need this to change.

Why It Matters to Us

We have experienced pain and trauma from folks blindly following Traditional Masculinity. These men weren’t able to express their emotions, didn’t know they were of value, didn’t know they were deserving of connection, didn’t know how to use their voice in order to bring attention to needs, wants and desires.

Suicide is a part of many families stories and we know the deep trauma it imparts generationally. We are confident that if more Modern Men would’ve been in our lives and the lives of our caregivers, we wouldn’t have experienced such grief and loss.

Processing these experiences has ignited a collective fire. This fire lead to Moody Octopus cultivating a unique specicalty with supporting Modern Men on their detox from Traditional Masculinity. Every day we are able to create space with clients where they feel safe, seen, heard and understood. In these therapeutic moments, their confidence gets a huge boost. They are able to use curiosity and compassion to explore themselves and their relationships.

Are you curious about being a Modern Man? Are you curious about supporting a Modern Man in your life? If so, let's team up against this detrimental ideology and move forward into a healthier generation of men!